just a FEW of the reasons I get up each morning...

 the one who taught me to love, again.

friend's that you dream of having. they inspire me each day.

the one I won't let get away. we have our days, but he gets me and knows me better than I know myself.

Molly and her daddy.

and her mommy.

when we are together, we are cooler than everyone else! haha just joking. my long time love and best friend. we were distant at times, but a love like this will never end

these two just make me laugh

girls I couldn't possibly ever live without. they are the reasons I am who I am today. they each inspire me to be a better person.

dad and grandma. love them.

you had to be at St. Patty's Day to understand. love is an understatement of what I feel for these two.

through thick and thin I will always love this girl.

she has inspired me since she entered my life many moons ago. she is not only an amazing friend, but an amazing person and soul.

lil' Piper Koozer, who I love more than words can explain. I remember the day I found out she would join this beautiful world. I remember the day they found out she would be a she. I remember all the good and bad news, but most importantly I remember her each morning when I wake up and I thank the Lord for making her. I can't wait to meet this sweet girl that has already changed so many lives.



happy life.

Six months ago I sat in an interview and was asked, "why now?." I told the gentleman that I was hungry for a career. I was tired of mindless work and "craved" bringing work home. Really all I wanted was a challenge. To have a purpose and to be busy.

Wish granted.

Not only do I have a job that keeps me busy while on the job, I have a second job that keeps me busy at night. I love it. I have even found time workout, too.

proof of it. lol.

I feel better already.

Since I no longer work in a restaurant, resisting food has been much easier. I don't go home every day mad at myself for eating a cup of hot and sour soup. Or for eating too much family meal. It's nice not being tempted constantly. It also helps with my mindset, because losing weight doesn't seem like such a uphill battle anymore. I can do it. I did it before and I will do it again. The 32 steps to my apartment help, too. Especially since I walk them a minimum of six times a day. That's 192 steps that I have added to my daily routine. I also walk to work.

I can do it. I am certain of it...but please remind me if I start doubting myself.

Life is good, though. If you had told me a year ago, when I moved to Chattanooga for no known reason, that I would be at this place in my life, I would of made you promise. There was no visible path for me to change my life around that much. At least I didn't think so then. Boy do things change. It must be a God thing.

I have done it. That's all I keep thinking. I don't have a dream job or a dream life. What I do have those is a life a enjoy and people in it that I love.

No more regrets. Just living a full life in love.

new place

in life.

When I decided to move to my new apartment several months ago I didn't completely understand the impact it would have on my life. I had been cheap when I got my last apartment and forgot what it's like to love where you live and how important that love of home is. It hasn't taken us long to fall in love with our new place. For starters look at this  dog park that Molly gets to use 3 times a day!

Today her and her daddy played frisbee for a hour. I've never seen the two happier. The move has even changed the dog. You know you made the right decision when the dog is happier, too.

So here is it. The new place. With the exception of the 4 boxes of random stuff I just don't have the energy to unload and the wall hangings, the apartment is finished.

And here's the happy couple that made it happen with the help of Amanda Swinney and Brett's friend Tony. I am forever obligated to help either of them move. 32 steps up. 32 steps down. Repeat. Repeat and repeat some more. 

To top off a great weekend in a new apartment, I also came to a place of peace in my mind and soul.  I have been attending Christway Community Church for nearly a year, off and on. I absolutely love John Waters the pastor and have enjoyed getting to meet some members. Its especially great because my best friends Annie, Justin and their baby in tow Piper go there as well.

A couple of weeks ago during a sermon I just felt this over-whelming feeling that my mom, too, needed to be on this journey with myself and Brett. I was drawn, even called,  to a new church this morning. It was exactly where I was suppose to be. Right down the road from mom's. There was a peace in my heart, that I have never experienced, as I walked into the service.

No surprise God had a familiar face to greet me as we entered. A teacher from Dalton, that remembered me too. It was easy. It was open and enjoyable.

Ryan May, the pastor, looked directly at me at the end of the service as he tied the last hour together. He said, you can quit feeling guilty. It is your past. No longer hold on to it. As my lip quivered, the tear poured and I forgave myself. I let go and I let God have control.

I have no way of knowing where my future will lead or what church I will attend any given Sunday, but I do know that the Lord is watching over me. I feel a peace I cannot explain and only hope that will stay.

Thank you Krisitie for the invitation months ago, weeks ago and again today to experience your church. I had already decided I wanted to go to church near mom and The Net made sense  because of proximinty to mom's, but you already knew it made sense for reasons I didn't yet understand.

This is the lesson that I am learning. That I do not have to understand everything. I have to trust. Trust in my instincts. Trust others. Most importantly trust in the Lord.

p.s. I have a bunch of craft projects coming up. I'll keep you posted!!



What a wonderful weekend.

Which was welcomed because I worked everyday this week. They were allowing over-time, so I worked the extra hours. Friday night was spent relaxing and reading. I haven't done that in a while and I just loved it.

Saturday, mom invited us over so we stopped and got BBQ and a....

it's a dark chocolate and pecon covered frozen banana. WONDERFUL!

Then while packing that evening I found Molly's Halloween costume, so dressed her up again and she just plopped down in my lap. Sure love that dog.

We ended our weekend, watching the NBA finals and the heat lose:(

I ran out of boxes so I have everything dusted and ready to go into boxes tonight. The plan is to finish tonight!!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

love.

There are all kinds of love. These are some of my faves.

 words don't explain

 how incredibly blessed I feel each and

every day, because I know that

no matter what,

I am surrounded by amazing people.

I don't get to talk to my loves all

the time, but they are always in my heart.

I am happy today, because these people

have supported,

loved

and forgiven me more times than I deserved and I hope one day I can make it up to each of them.

P.S. I was having trouble finding pictures of everyone!



sweet, sweet man.

Brett and I are sitting in the living room changing back and forth between The Voice and the NBA Finals. Upon seeing Blake Shelton on The Voice, Brett asked me to check out Blake's new song Honey Bee. I got busy posting stuff to craigslist and chatting on facebook, but he wouldn't leave me alone. So I played it. He said it made him think of me.... this made me smile. Here's the song.

"Honey Bee"

Girl, I been thinkin' 'bout us
And no, I ain't good at this stuff
These feelings pilin' up won't give me no rest
This might come out a little crazy
A little sideways, yeah maybe
I don't know how long it'll take me but I'll do my best

If you'll be my soft and sweet
I'll be your strong and steady
You'll be my glass of wine
I'll be your shot of whiskey
You'll be my sunny day
I'll be your shade tree
You'll be my honeysuckle
I'll be your honey bee

Yeah, that came out a little country
But every word was right on the money
And I got you smilin' honey right back at me
Now hold on cause I ain't done
There's more where that came from
Well you know I'm just havin' fun, but seriously

If you'll be my Louisiana
I'll be your Mississippi
You'll be my little Loretta Lynn
I'll be your Conway Twitty
You'll be my sugar baby
I'll be your sweet iced tea
You'll be my honeysuckle
I'll be your honey bee

Your kiss just said it all
I'm glad we had this talk
Nothing left to do but fall in each others arms
I coulda said I love you
Coulda wrote you a line or two
Baby, all I know to do is speak right from the heart

If you'll be my soft and sweet
I'll be your strong and steady
You'll be my glass of wine
I'll be your shot of whiskey
You'll be my sunny day
I'll be your shade tree
You'll be my honeysuckle
I'll be your honey bee

You'll be my Louisiana
I'll be your Mississippi
You'll be my little Loretta Lynn
I'll be your Conway Twitty
You'll be my sugar baby
I'll be your sweet iced tea
You'll be my honeysuckle
And I'll be your honey bee

I'll be your honey bee

Brett doesn't like to write me letters or always say the sweetest little things, but this works for me.

 

Lunch Breaks

I must admit I am a little bitter that no one ever told me how wonderful a eight hour day with a one hour lunch break was. I don't even mind being at work until 7, because the normalty of the day.

This is just one of the many perks of my new job. I really enjoy having my own desk and area that is mine. It is also nice to have moments of peace and quiet and not always surrounded by people. I had some reservations about taking a desk job, but I am fortunate because I get to stay busy and not always at mydesk. I also think being away from the restuarant industry will help me form a healthier lifestlye, which I so crave.

 The view from my desk:)

first day of work on May 31, 2011.

The bigest struggle at the moment is the change in income. I went from making cash daily to not being paid for three weeks. Luckily I saved and was smart, but being paid hourly and not have cash daily has proven to be different. I like it already, though.

It's a learning process and my best friends have given me a wonderful website which will help me with budgeting (mint.com). The also gave me another great site they use to grocery shop and save money and it is emealz.com. So with these sites and then a little self control I should be doubling my savings in no time:)

I look forward to the next few week and all their is to learn at my new job. The future is looking bright and hopeful. I couldn't be a happier lady!!

my first project!

It's not perfect, but it is a start. I didn't even understand how it was going to look when I first started, but I get it know. Something was learned and that I believe is what is important at this point, because I really want to start sewing my own pillows and a few other around the house things.

I will make sure to keep everyone updated and will most definitely share any secrets. Also looking for any suggestions.

The next one shall be better:)

Here's the truth...

It was only 4 days, but boy did I miss writing. Since my last post I worked my new job both unofficially and officially.

There was some delay in getting back the last of the paperwork. Part of this paperwork included my background check. Terrified doesn't begin to explain how I felt. I still was "working" Tuesday, Wednesday and the beginning of today even though my future was unsure.

I came home Tuesday night to the uncertainity and sat in the dark, under a blanket, watching Law and Order:SVU and cried. I actually balled like a baby. I really thought I had forgiven myself on Sunday during church, but God didn't fall for it and gave me a couple more days to let go of it all. So I cried. Cried a little more. Then cried again. Mad at myself for not making better decisions when I was younger and for not caring about my future.

I have alluded to my past many times, but I have not been completely honest with my actions. Here is the truth.  I was arrested twice for DUI. At the time I had a million excuses to why I did it... today I have none. It was simply wrong.

By the Grace of God no one was injured. I have now moved on. I no longer drink and drive, shoot I won't even drive over the speed limit. I obey the law and see no other way to live. I do still enjoy a drink every blue moon, but a designated driver is a must!

I have always feared sharing this information with people that weren't in my life at that time, but I can't be scared anymore. I am moving forward in truth, honesty and love. I am worthy of what comes my way and can accept any success, love or fortune  because I truly believe in myself and love myself. But Tuesday reminded me of the long road that has been my past. All those feelings came back and I felt them. I am now letting them go. It feels good.

I hope you all are able to forgive me for my actions. There is no justification, but please know that I know what I did was wrong and I am a better person now.

So back to the job....

Today at 3 I got the news that I am now OFFICIAL. I have been scared to get excited about my new job the past three days because I was really unsure if I had a job. I DO! I love it and I am going to enjoy it. Keep me in mind if you are looking for a wonderful apartment community in Chattanooga, Tennessee. We are The Haven at Commons Park and you can contact me at (423)894-1950.

I just want to thank you all for your amazing support through this exciting, yet trying time in my life. It's been easier because of your messages on facebook and comments on here. Thank you!