it's my life.

A year ago today a young man named Brett Goins sent me a message on facebook. His friends were trying to set us and he finally made the first move. Tomorrow will be a year since we met. Brett showed up at my house with some beer and wine, I cooked dinner and we talked for hours. From the second I met him I felt comfortable and safe. He was easy to talk to and I remember thinking that I was at ease as we spoke, I wasn't trying to come up with clever things to say or anything I was just myself, it was perfect. The next few months were exciting as we got to know each other. There were bad times, too. Brett lost his job, but we got through it. I learned a lot in those first few months. I have always been one to run, but this was different. The thought of running caused me more anxiety than the thought of staying. I knew I couldn't walk away from this man. I remember one time things were stressful and I had thought of leaving, but all I could think was that he is the kind of man I want to spend my life with. I couldn't risk walking away and know that there's a great chance that I would never find another man more perfect for me.

Well it's been a year now and I couldn't be happier. We talk about the future and went and looked at rings recently, but he refuses to let me know anything because he wants it all to be a surprise.I never understood the excitement in ring shopping and really just didn't care, but now I get it. I just smiled from ear to ear as we sat there and I thought about what this means: to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams.

It's funny that I am the girl with the guy and happy. Sometimes I find myself still doubting the fact that it could actually happen to me. But hey why not. I deserve happiness, too.

And that my friend's is where I am at today. Happy.

fearless...

in the kitchen.

It's about darn time is all I can say. For years I have be intrigued by great cooks. I would always ask questions and want to learn how to be a great cook myself, but time and time again I got the same response, "just try things."

The perfectionist in me just hasn't been able to let go until recently. Maybe it's because I finally have control of the rest of my life so I don't care to let loose in the kitchen. Maybe I'm hungrier than I use to be or maybe I just got tired of eating the same boring crap, but either way I am loving all the new eats.

I tried fried okra for the first time last week and tonight Brett said it was perfect. Not likely, but it was good. I even used jiffy mix instead of corn meal ( I am now down to 7 boxes, I guess I get excited about the fact it's only $.42 so I buy a lot).

I also tried are Mexican tacos and I tried making the shredded chicken that the restaurants have... success! Brett even requested them this week.

My baking has also expanded! I had three almost bad bananas so today I made banana bread and last week I made mint chocolate chip cookies. A guy at work told me they were the best cookies he has ever had... thanks pinterest.

The best thing about all of this is that I truly enjoy cooking and I am learning lots. Maybe one day when my kids are away at college they will want to come home just for my cooking.

Like everything else, I am doing this with love. Not long ago I lived without any love in my life, but today thanks to a patient support system of family and friends I now can say each day I live with love.

I think that's why I enjoy cooking, too. Because I cook with love for my love and for myself, that I love again.

chasing the dream.

It's been an exciting time. I have now been at my new job for three months and I was just named top producer for the month of August. I was one of four in the entire company to receive the award. Hopefully I will keep up the hard work!

On top of enjoying my leasing consultant job, I have found that I really love writing. I have decided to join a social media group, so that I can learn more about blogging and hopefully filling more of my free time with my true passion.

Although it may seem all I do is work, Brett and I have been finding time to still hang out. It's hard to believe, but on the 27 of this month we will have been together for a year. I feel like I deserve a prize, haha. I have never been this in love or in a relationship even half this long and to beat that we won a date night because I shared our story on a local blog! Who knows what the future holds, but I feel certain he will be a part of my future and that feels good.

It's amazing that I moved here15 months ago and the think of all that has changed. I FINALLY got my life together, thank you all for your patience, love and support through the past 6, horrible years. I found the love of my life and still have the most amazing friends ever. Most importantly I found myself. I feel like when I talk and act, that it is truly me. I am no longer searching for the person I want to be. This is me.

Babe and I, going to the chapel... congrats Christian and Brandi Siler!

Piper and I. She's my girl.

My attire the first half of the month, haha.

So that's it. Nothing new going on, just busy chasing my dream. 

the whole enchilada.

I am sitting here watching "Millionaire Matchmaker" and this young man couldn't believe a women could be both career minded and domestic. This made me think... are there lots of men out there with this line of thinking? More so, are there women out there that think the same thing.

It wasn't long ago that I thought this. I thought that women who wanted to be at home with the kids lacked ambition and drive(please don't hate me for being forthcoming, trust me I don't think this anymore). I didn't understand that I could have the job of my dreams and then come home and cook dinner for the family. Crazy thought, because I do it all now. I don't have kids yet, but I spend 50+ hours a week working, keep up a house, have dinner on the table every night Brett and I are home together, craft, spend time with friends, bake and love my Molly. This is nothing compared to most people, but it's a far cry from my frame of mind a few years ago.

Maybe it's time us women take a stand for ourselves. Time to show everyone that we can be the modern day mom that has dinner ready, but also has a life of her own. Why not have it all! Most importantly we need to make sure we are in this together, helping one another and sharing our secrets. 

Really I just want to thank all the amazing women in my life... you all are my rock!