crafty Christmas.

Because who doesn't want to save money around the holidays. I had a party to get ready for, but needed to make sure everything was festive enough!

As I went to put silverware out I realized I didn't have anything to put it all in. So I went to my pantry that has just a few containers.

As I stood in my pantry, I saw the coffee jar and realized it would be perfect to hold my silverware, but I had to figure out how to cover it. Then it came to me! I had a whole thing of multi-colored yarn... perfection. So I took taped the yarn to the bottom rim and started wrapping the can. Simple and cheap.

The yarn was originally purchased for my Christmas cards. I already had mini clothes pins that my step mom had bought me years ago, but need string of some sort to hang the cards. While at Wal-Mart I came this yarn. And this is what I created...

Lastly, what Christmas is complete without Christmas trees? I got this great idea from Pinterest and then made it my own. All you need is a solo cup, paper, tissue paper, glitter, rubber cement and a hot glue gun{for the red tree}.

Nothing special, but I definitely enjoyed making some of my decorations versus buying them all! I hope you are inspired to do the same next year or maybe even last minute this year!

the party.

I hope this is a tradition I can continue. I really enjoyed cooking for some of my favorites and having people over. It was a wonderful night and really put me in the Christmas spirit!!

{I somehow managed to never put anything on the noel platter, haha}

{ yum, yum}

{new runner compliments of World Market and the pup}

{ my entrance and handmade trees}

 {centerpiece}

{marshmallows in a container for the hot cocoa}

{the remains of the party... I am being lazy}

a few sweets.

{a new tradition}

Peppermint Bark. It's a must try.

All you need is vanilla baking chips {24 oz.}, box of off brand chex cereal {13 oz.} and a box of candy canes. Melt the vanilla chips, mix in the peppermints and pour over cereal. I like it better than puppy chow/white trash or whatever name you might have for a chocolaty version!

{an old tradition}

I was lazy today and used Betty Crocker's sugar cookie mix, but what I want to share is my icing recipe. It's one my step mom has always used and I just know you will love it!

Mix together powder sugar, milk, food coloring {of your choice} AND a splash of almond extract. The almond extract is the key and makes all the difference.  Use varying amounts on above ingredients based on how thick or runny you want your icing.

I hope you love these both as much as I do!

Buffalo Chicken Bites

I got these from Pinterest and just had to try them out. These buffalo chicken bites reminded me of a wonderful dip I have made in the past, but with fewer ingredients.

What you need:

• 3 chicken breast {cooked and shredded}
• 1 1/2 cups of sharp cheddar cheese
• 3 oz. of cream cheese {I used light cream cheese}
• 1 cup of flour
• 3 eggs
• 5 cups corn flakes {I used off brand and was extremely happy}

The recipe called for green onions, but that tends to be a food that not everyone like so I left them out. I am preparing these for a Christmas Party and wanted to make sure I would have items everyone could enjoy.

1. In a medium pan put chicken breast and cover with water. Cook through and then shred.

2. Mix together the chicken and both cheeses {and green onions, if you like}.

3. In three separate bowls put flour, eggs and crushed corn flakes {1 item per bowl}.

4. Roll chicken mixture into balls and in them dip in flour first, then eggs and lastly the cereal. 

Because I am preparing these ahead of time I flash freeze them for 20 minutes. When I do cook them it will be for 25 minutes at 350.

Sausage Balls {with a twist}.

Because you can't have a holiday party without them. 

This year I tried a new concoction and I wanted to share it with you, because they tasted very yummy!!

What you need:

• 1 lb. hot sausage
• 1 lb. mild sausage
• 2 cups of sharp cheddar cheese
• tablespoon of brown sugar
• 2 oz. of cream cheese

1. I cooked the sausage first. I did this for two reasons. First I wanted to be able to drain off the extra fat, but I also wanted to be able to freeze them and easier to serve on the day of the party.

2. Drain the sausage and put in large bowl. Add all the ingredients and mix together. 

3. Take a cookie scoop/hands and makes mixture into balls and place on baking pan. 

4. I then flash freeze for 20 minutes and place in gallon bag.

5. To serve cook for 20 minutes at 375.

Enjoy!!

Goodwill finds.

To say I am thrifty is a complete understatement. I absolutely cringe anytime I spend more than$20 at a time{it most definitely pains me}, but all that being said I get equally excited about a great deal!

And this is exactly what I found last night at Goodwill. Let me just show you:



                      

                        {Vase $2.99} I just added some pine cones, ornaments I wasn't using and my attempt at a bow.





I just couldn't refuse this lil' guy for $.049





{basket $1.99} filled with ornaments I wasn't using.





I have been so focused on my my apartment "perfect" that I refused to do any thrift store shopping! I should know that's where it is at!! 

I'll keep you updated on my improvements.

homemade wreath.

As I was putting up all my Christmas decorations, I realized I had lots of extra ornaments. These ornaments did not match my color scheme, but I was too cheap to just throw them away. So I....

put them to good use! I picked up a styrofoam wreath at Wal-Mart for $4.50, grabbed my hot glue gun, box or ornaments and hunkered down in a corner with an outlet. It was messy, but easy. As always it was great to just get away from my hectic day and craft.

yummy greens.

I am continuously trying to add green veggies to my diet and I recently found this wonderful recipe that I would like to share with everyone. It's simple and tasty!

What you need:

Broccoli Florets
Kosher Salt
Fresh Lemon
Black Pepper
Parmesan Cheese

Preheat over to 350

1. I use frozen broccoli that you steam, but fresh broccoli is recommended. Just make sure its completely dry.

2. Salt the all the broccoli and then I love pepper so I do almost equal pepper. Then cover with parmesan cheese

3. Lastly cook the broccoli for 20 or so minutes and then add the lemon zest!

It's a wonderful side item and I put the leftovers in a zip lock bag and eat as a snack.


Enjoy!

mini meatloafs

Because everything is better when it is in a muffin tin, especially a mini muffin tin!

I get overwhelmed with excitement any chance I get to make something in my mini muffin tins. Last night was great because I was able to try my new meatloaf recipe{which i tweaked} and make them in muffin tins and mini muffin tins. Apparently men don't appreciate mini muffin tins too much, because Brett wanted his just regular size.

The recipe was a great starter recipe, because it didn't have a million ingredients and I actually knew what all the ingredients were.

Here is what you need:

1 1/2lb. of ground beef{I think ground turkey would be phenomenal}
1/2 finely chopped onion
1 sleeve of saltines finely crushed
2 1/2 tablespoons of mustard
1 1/2 of ketchup
1 tablespoon Oregano
S&P to season the beef

Preheat oven to 350

1. Take onions, oregano and a lil' olive oil and saute' them until soft. If you like garlic, I would also add some garlic to this mixture.

2. Mix the rest of the ingredients in a large bowl. Make sure to add onion mixture.

3.Spray muffin tins { mini muffin tins} and add mixture. Cook for 30-35 minutes. If you are using the mini tins then cook for 25-30.

I didn't have any potatoes, but if you do whip up some mashed potatoes and put them on top. I can't wait to try this, although I will probably do mashed cauliflower for a healthier option!

Enjoy!

unexpected joy.

Cooking. My new love.

{Fried Okra}

{Homemade crab cakes & spinach salad}

{boil orange peels&cinnamon... smells amazing}

  

{Homemade Coconut Chicken Curry...yum, yum, yum}

{Homemade mac&cheese}

{My brownies}

{Buttermilk biscuits, brown sugar, cinnamon and syrup.... this is no joke}

{I improvised with whole wheat rotini, because used all my elbow macs...  still wonderful}

{Relaxing after my "adventurous" black friday... haha}

I have recently been motivated to cook. Although I am still learning my way around the kitchen, I am having the time of my life. As a child I would always stand in the kitchen and help Ann, my step mom, cook. I would ask a million questions{presumably drove her nuts}and just be in awe of her ability to cook. She always told me to just practice and I would learn.

I can't say I believed her at the time{ I'm the kinda of girl that has to find out on her own and rarely believes what I am told.... and yes I am working on this}, but she was right. It's been a slow process, but well worth it. I started by baking, but now I have found more excitement in experimenting and trying new dishes that I always thought were so out of reach, such as chicken curry.

life.

I am learning more and more about myself. A few short weeks ago, I was so excited about running and getting back into the gym. Don't get me wrong I am still focused and working out some and eating right, but I have lost the enthusiasm, which may be for the best.

I have always been the girl looking for a plan and that plan is always changing. I know it drives my close friends and family crazy, but I don't think they get that it drives me crazy, too. I just want to believe in what I am doing and to love it. I don't want to look back in 5 years and be in a career that I am not passionate about.... that's just not me.

Anyways, back to the gym. My goal is still to be healthy and to eat better and feel better, but I am enjoying the lack of enthusiasm. I went home each day this week on my lunch break and prepared a healthy meal. Not because it's week one of operation get thin, but because {I think} it may be a change in lifestyle! Woot, woot!

This is just a theory, but I feel very settled as of lately. Instead of thinking through everything and trying so hard, it has been effortless. I look at food and I realize what I decision I need to make, instead of it being such a struggle. I believe I have found my inner voice, as well as the ability to listen to it and act accordingly. It feels good.

As mentioned in previous post, I have made series of bad decisions in the past{Pretty much from August 2006-April 2008}. Although the bad decisions stopped years ago, there has been an indescribable amount of guilt that I couldn't let go. Almost daily I think of those bad decisions. I can now think of them without wincing or closing my eyes, but it's disappointing all the same. 

What I have discovered is I am worthy of a prosperous future. I don't have to doubt myself anymore. I am capable of making good decisions and quite frankly I make more good decisions than bad ones these days! Exciting stuff, you know!

So that's where I am today. I am worthy and capable of all things good. I still need to be thoughtful in my plans and my meaning because temptation exist, but I know I am stronger today then I quite possibly have ever been.

Joshua 1:9

the fight worth fighting.

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.

- Benjamin Franklin

I am preparing. I am not sure all that goes into this just yet, but I know I am changing my actions and working  towards a goal of being healthier. As I ran tonight, I looked over at myself and could already see some slight changes in my body. I am not satisfied, but I am proud of my progress.

As I ran tonight I also thought, "what a great gift I will be able to give my children. The gift of health and fitness. Not the burden of weight issues." This alone makes it all worth it. By no means am I at a point in my life where I will be getting married soon or having kids, but I do know that it's in my future and I do not want them to deal with all I have. I wasn't picked on or made fun of... at least not to my face, but I have struggled with it my weight and I just couldn't handle knowing that I didn't do my best to prevent my children from dealing with same issues with their weight.

 Tonight when I wanted to stop and just walk, I pushed through the pain. It suddenly became easier. As if I was rewarded for pushing on. It felt good to push myself and know that I am bettering my life, as well as extending it. I had forgotten how good that feels.

I know there will be struggles ahead. There will be days I just don't want to go to the gym, but I think this time it will be different. It's not about getting skinny this time, it's about getting my life back and being healthy. This is the fight for my life and I am doing everything I possibly can to guarantee I succeed this time around. So please if you see me slacking call me out on it. Don't let me forget. Hold me accountable, because this is a fight worth fighting. And winning.

she was running.

This morning I woke up at 7:30 and decided I would take Molly on a long walk. I got outside and it felt perfect so I decided to jog. I jogged for much longer than I thought I had the capability. It was exciting.

I have laid in bed many of nights unhappy with my body. I would lay there dreaming of days when I was much smaller. The days when I wore the outfit I planned on wearing because it fit perfect. Not the current days where I wear what fits... and usually not my first pick. On top of dreaming of thinner days, I have been working on eating better and getting on a schedule.

In hind sight I have been preparing. Been preparing for the day I would have the courage to accept responsibility for my future. My mind was clear and free and I just ran. I focused on my breathing and not the million things that have been on my mind the past few months.

It was exhilarating.

I keep thinking all day that I can do this. Instead of talking myself out of it, like I have been for 6 years, I talked myself into it. I've always envied runners. I would watch them run through the park or on the streets downtown and it looked so freeing. I craved that feeling of stepping out my door and just taking off, but I had convinced myself that couldn't be me.

Looking back over the years I realize I have done that a lot. Not so much recently, but definitely in my Knoxville life. I had lost all the weight 6 years ago and was happy with my body for the first time ever. I was confident and could walk into any room and look people in the eye. I now walk in, head down and concerned people will stare because of my size. I think part of it is the disappointment of putting the weight back on. Knowing how hard I worked to lose it and then without concern for myself I watched as my weight increased.

What I have learned about myself is that if I want something bad enough then I will do all I can to get it. I have wanted to lose the weight in recent years and have given half a$%ed attempts to do so, but something changed on Sunday.

As many of you know Annie and Justin Koozer mean the world to me. Brett and I meet up with them as often as possible and this Sunday was no different. Maybe it was the inspiration from church that morning or just the great company that day, but I was moved either way. As we caught up with them, Annie shared she had just started couch to 5K on Saturday and Justin had ran 6 miles the same day. Admittedly I told them I have had the couch to 5K app for months. I also shared that I always wanted to be a runner, as well as expressed my strong desire lately to get back in shape. Justin assured me he's never been a runner, but he sat a goal, signed up for races and in pure Justin style accomplished his goal.

So here I am sitting with Annie, who six weeks ago had a C section, and is training for a 5K in December and a 1/2 marathon in April. Next to her is Justin who while Annie is running a 1/2 marathon he will be running the marathon.

So what's stopping me?

They have faith in me, why don't I? Why am I so scared to do something I have done before.

I realized something... I can conquer this weight issue once and for all. I have the love and support in my life. I can do it.

So as I thought about this all day, I not only convinced myself that I can do this, I told myself I will do it. Because I love spending time with Brett, I have decided we can do it... haha. And tonight after we cleaned the apartment and uncluttered some, we walked to the gym. We got on treadmills side by side and walked through a nice warm up. I then sped up my and started jogging. We were on the treadmills for 20 minutes and I ran three different times. I bet I ran for nearly 14-15 of those minutes. It's not amazing but it's a start and that's really all I needed... a start, a beginning.

The rest will hopefully come. I have laid the groundwork for me to succeed and truly believe in myself... for the first time in a long time.

Wish me luck and I will keep you all posted.

it's my life.

A year ago today a young man named Brett Goins sent me a message on facebook. His friends were trying to set us and he finally made the first move. Tomorrow will be a year since we met. Brett showed up at my house with some beer and wine, I cooked dinner and we talked for hours. From the second I met him I felt comfortable and safe. He was easy to talk to and I remember thinking that I was at ease as we spoke, I wasn't trying to come up with clever things to say or anything I was just myself, it was perfect. The next few months were exciting as we got to know each other. There were bad times, too. Brett lost his job, but we got through it. I learned a lot in those first few months. I have always been one to run, but this was different. The thought of running caused me more anxiety than the thought of staying. I knew I couldn't walk away from this man. I remember one time things were stressful and I had thought of leaving, but all I could think was that he is the kind of man I want to spend my life with. I couldn't risk walking away and know that there's a great chance that I would never find another man more perfect for me.

Well it's been a year now and I couldn't be happier. We talk about the future and went and looked at rings recently, but he refuses to let me know anything because he wants it all to be a surprise.I never understood the excitement in ring shopping and really just didn't care, but now I get it. I just smiled from ear to ear as we sat there and I thought about what this means: to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams.

It's funny that I am the girl with the guy and happy. Sometimes I find myself still doubting the fact that it could actually happen to me. But hey why not. I deserve happiness, too.

And that my friend's is where I am at today. Happy.

fearless...

in the kitchen.

It's about darn time is all I can say. For years I have be intrigued by great cooks. I would always ask questions and want to learn how to be a great cook myself, but time and time again I got the same response, "just try things."

The perfectionist in me just hasn't been able to let go until recently. Maybe it's because I finally have control of the rest of my life so I don't care to let loose in the kitchen. Maybe I'm hungrier than I use to be or maybe I just got tired of eating the same boring crap, but either way I am loving all the new eats.

I tried fried okra for the first time last week and tonight Brett said it was perfect. Not likely, but it was good. I even used jiffy mix instead of corn meal ( I am now down to 7 boxes, I guess I get excited about the fact it's only $.42 so I buy a lot).

I also tried are Mexican tacos and I tried making the shredded chicken that the restaurants have... success! Brett even requested them this week.

My baking has also expanded! I had three almost bad bananas so today I made banana bread and last week I made mint chocolate chip cookies. A guy at work told me they were the best cookies he has ever had... thanks pinterest.

The best thing about all of this is that I truly enjoy cooking and I am learning lots. Maybe one day when my kids are away at college they will want to come home just for my cooking.

Like everything else, I am doing this with love. Not long ago I lived without any love in my life, but today thanks to a patient support system of family and friends I now can say each day I live with love.

I think that's why I enjoy cooking, too. Because I cook with love for my love and for myself, that I love again.

chasing the dream.

It's been an exciting time. I have now been at my new job for three months and I was just named top producer for the month of August. I was one of four in the entire company to receive the award. Hopefully I will keep up the hard work!

On top of enjoying my leasing consultant job, I have found that I really love writing. I have decided to join a social media group, so that I can learn more about blogging and hopefully filling more of my free time with my true passion.

Although it may seem all I do is work, Brett and I have been finding time to still hang out. It's hard to believe, but on the 27 of this month we will have been together for a year. I feel like I deserve a prize, haha. I have never been this in love or in a relationship even half this long and to beat that we won a date night because I shared our story on a local blog! Who knows what the future holds, but I feel certain he will be a part of my future and that feels good.

It's amazing that I moved here15 months ago and the think of all that has changed. I FINALLY got my life together, thank you all for your patience, love and support through the past 6, horrible years. I found the love of my life and still have the most amazing friends ever. Most importantly I found myself. I feel like when I talk and act, that it is truly me. I am no longer searching for the person I want to be. This is me.

Babe and I, going to the chapel... congrats Christian and Brandi Siler!

Piper and I. She's my girl.

My attire the first half of the month, haha.

So that's it. Nothing new going on, just busy chasing my dream. 

the whole enchilada.

I am sitting here watching "Millionaire Matchmaker" and this young man couldn't believe a women could be both career minded and domestic. This made me think... are there lots of men out there with this line of thinking? More so, are there women out there that think the same thing.

It wasn't long ago that I thought this. I thought that women who wanted to be at home with the kids lacked ambition and drive(please don't hate me for being forthcoming, trust me I don't think this anymore). I didn't understand that I could have the job of my dreams and then come home and cook dinner for the family. Crazy thought, because I do it all now. I don't have kids yet, but I spend 50+ hours a week working, keep up a house, have dinner on the table every night Brett and I are home together, craft, spend time with friends, bake and love my Molly. This is nothing compared to most people, but it's a far cry from my frame of mind a few years ago.

Maybe it's time us women take a stand for ourselves. Time to show everyone that we can be the modern day mom that has dinner ready, but also has a life of her own. Why not have it all! Most importantly we need to make sure we are in this together, helping one another and sharing our secrets. 

Really I just want to thank all the amazing women in my life... you all are my rock!

happy gal.

It's the little things in life that make me happy these days. Things like dinner at home with my man, seeing Molly on my lunch break or even just a short text convo with a far away friend. I couldn't be happier, just wish I had time to spend some time with those that I love. If I have learned anything the past few years, it's that my friends and family are amazing. I want to make sure I show you all my appreciation and that you each know how much you mean to me. Thank you for everything.

Here are a couple of pics of what has been going on in my life lately:

vote Southern Burger Co... we are trying to represent Chattanooga!

date night with Brett.

Great friends supporting Southern Burger Co. in Knoxville

grilled chicken and my FIRST attempt at fried okra!

babe fishin' on his birthday

fried rice and egg drop soup. Thanks to the Koozer'f for the inspiration and to PF's for the ability to follow through

celebrating Molly's birthday with me. I have had her two years!

If the remainder of the year is just half as great as the first part, then bring it on!!

roots

"There are two things you give a child; one is roots and the other is wings."

This has always been one of my favorite quotes.  A friend dear to my heart just wrote a blog titled, "where I come from." It made me think. I have a story like anyone else, but so much of my childhood is overshadowed with my mother's story and not mine. So much so that my roots seem very scattered, possibly non-existent.

It probably explains the loneliness I felt most of my life. It also explains why I clung to such loving and accepting people. Even more so in college I clung to friends who had the huge support systems and families that I had always dreamed of. I didn't know the way I grew up wasn't normal, I just knew it to be my life. 

I remember hearing the quote for the first time in high school, but it was something I held dear to my heart through college. It must of been the wings I identified with. Flying away, or running, pushing really any of these is something I feel like I do know a lot about. Stability isn't something I am familiar with . 

Please don't misunderstand, my parents do love me that I know is true and I am sure they did the best the knew to do, but they were preoccupied.  And I turned out okay, but it's these roots I still crave. 

I still remember just a few short months ago when my mom asked if I was a girl scout when I grew up? All I could think at that moment was don't cry, make it out of the house before I the tears start up. I wasn't surprised, but it hurts all the same.  I still tear up thinking of these things, not because I feel bad for myself

( I have no reason to, I am extremely blessed in life), but because I hope one day when  I become a parent I will be different. I hope that even though I don't have roots that I can give them to my children. I hope that I put my children before myself and teach them to love and to be loved. I want to provide them with both roots and wings. Most importantly I hope my children always know I will be their number one fan and will always be there for them.  

{ I have given my all for this one. She's my love and first 

chance I had to see if I could love in a way I had never experienced. I have and 

I hope loving my own children one day will come as natural as loving this pup}

 

unwavering love.

I never got it. I grew up in church and believed in the Bible, God, Jesus Christ... all of them. I knew their stories and knew they existed. I never doubted, I swayed away from what was right and moral, but I always knew there was someone watching over me. What I didn't know was their love. I didn't realize that love meant always being there for someone. I never experienced truly trusting in something or someone.

I had started attending church the second I moved to Chattanooga, but I had been going in Knoxville, more and more, too. My relationship was growing. In September last year I opened up a dialogue and really started listening to what He had to say and prayed more and more.

Then I met Brett. Brett loves me unlike anyone in my life has ever loved me. Don't get me wrong, my friends are truly amazing and my parents love me unconditionally now. But when Brett said 'I Love You' it was different. He shows it in his actions, the way he speaks to me and the way he is about me. This love made me start truly seeing what being a Christian was about. 

In church on Sunday, Ryan said something that made me think of John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should never perish, but have everlasting light." Yes, like many of you, I have know this scripture forever, but Sunday it brought tears to my eyes. As it does now. I get it now. I understood what they were speaking of before, but I feel it now. I know what that love is. 

God didn't bring Brett into my life because He knew I was tired of being single, He did it so I could love. Love like I always talked about loving, but never experienced. Loving like He loved, so I could love, too. What an amazing gift. I will forever cherish this gift and will make sure it is nurtured and grows. I will always be thankful to Him for bringing Brett into my life. He knew I was ready for love and to start my journey with Him.

reality check.

Brett's ex and him were married on his birthday. Last night we went to grab a drink with Amanda after dinner. When we got to the pool hall he realized his ex's best friend was there, so we sat on the other side of the bar. Time passed and then we hear someone come on the loud speaker, "Happy Birthday Brett Goins and Happy Anniversary." I was mortified. I hope I have never behaved in such a way, but the longer I sat there and the more I thought about it... I probably had. 

All I can keep thinking is that what do we gain from hurting others. Why is our society so focused on putting others down, instead of building people up? Why is it easier for some people to gossip and be hateful than being grateful and promote success? Please understand I am speaking about myself, too. I do not think I am exempt from such behavior, but what I do know is that I am consciously trying not to act like that. 

Publish Post
I don't want to intentionally hurt others anymore. I refuse to hold a grudge and hold onto anger. Nor do I want to make others pay for treating me a certain. It upsetting to realize how poorly I have behaved over the years. I just hope I have time to make it up to some of the people I hurt.

May I one day be the great friend my friend's have always been to me.

A few of my favorite things...

I had a wonderful time in Atlanta, training for my new job. I got to shop at eat and shop at Ikea with my co-worker, go to the Varsity and end the week with one of my bestie's Amanda at Nighfall in Chattanooga! Lucky girl.